Wednesday, March 19

{always something with lupus}

Hello friends and family!

I just wanted to give y'all an update on my health.
I know so many of you keep me and my family
in your prayers and we appreciate that so much!

The past couple of days have been some of the
scariest in my life! I have had an ongoing headache for around
7 or 8 months and it has progressively gotten worse.
It is now a constant pressure and feels like I can only imagine
head trauma feels like. :/

I was feeling really cruddy over the weekend and kept feeling
more and more weakness all over. We were out of town attending a
30th birthday party for a member of my family! {shout out to Aaron
my adorable cousin, his a single firefighter ladies just in case you were
curious.}. Anyway, I had to head back Monday because I had a doctors
appointment back home. As I got closer and closer to home I felt more
lethargic and just blamed it on the long drive.

My head was killing me and I prayed that I would make it to the Dr.
without incident or accident. It turns out when I got into see him that my BP was
175/100 and stayed that way when he checked it an hour later.
My heart murmur was also very active. Which always surprises me
because it seems the more active it is the less it bothers me?

It was past 5:30 by the time I got out of there so most specialist were
already closed for the day. He hated to just send me home and would not
let me go until he know I was okay to drive. He advised me that if I felt worse
at all to go to the ER immediately. He prescribed me something to get my BP
lowered and we are going to recheck the BP and heart on Monday.

I am advised to avoid stress {he apparently forgot I am a stay at home momma of
2 littles} and get as much rest as possible. We will take at look at options and make
a plan when I go back on Monday. The concern at this point is that my Lupus is
attacking my heart and/or brain. I have many symptoms of CNS Lupus as well
as obvious pulmonary issues.

On the way home from my appointment Monday I stopped to pick up prescriptions.
While walking around the pharmacy I felt like I was going to pass out, I was so weak
that I could hardly speak to the cashier or remember my own address and personal
information. I can not even describe to you how scary this is. Not to mention the
stares I was getting as I fumbled for everything, even my own words.

I began to cry as soon as I saw my husband come out of the house to greet me and
never has his big ole bear hug felt so good. I updated him on all the events and he
cancelled his evening appointment to stay with me and allow me to rest. I probably
should have gone to the ER because I felt worse as the evening went on and could
hardly walk or speak the next day.

Needless to say, I would not be nominated for any Mother of the Year awards as my
children were allowed to watch TV and play games on my phone and computer
the entire day and my almost 6 year old was in charge of making lunch. :/
This stupid disease affects the entire family.

These couple days were some of the scariest I have ever had in my life! There were
times I literally felt as if I was breathing my last breath. The pain and weakness are
so hard to describe if you have never felt it before. Imagine the worst flu you have
ever had and then double that.

Today I can tell that my BP has come down and I am able to do small amounts of
stuff but plan on taking it easy for most of my waking hours to try and avoid an ER
trip. I will keep y'all updated on my next appointment and continued prayers are so

Please do not take your health for granted! Go out and do something fun, something
you love! Play with your children, laugh and sing! You never know when these simple
things may be taken away from you. What I would not give to have my life back, to
feel like a normal human again! To sing! To have my voice back!

The thing that calms me the most is repeating  Joshua 1 verse 9, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

P.S. I apologize for the way the post is laid out! Tried to correct it several times but I don't have the energy to do it anymore! UGH!

Saturday, March 15

{it's saturday!}

It's Saturday! 

I am off to go spend some time with my precious family!

What are you doing today?

Friday, March 14

{adorable easter baskets}

Oh my golly!

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